A simple question with huge implications.
In the context of a relationship those 3 little words can unlock Pandora’s box.
There’s got to be trust and vulnerability in both asking and answering that question. Trust that you love each other enough to be honest, and to work through the answer, good or bad. And vulnerability to let your guard down.
I’m a sensitive guy. I try to be aware of how Leanne is feeling and how I can contribute to her happiness. Apparently my innate awesomeness is not enough.
(You just chuckled to yourself, didn’t you? That’s okay. We can still be friends.)
Leanne and I have been at this marriage game awhile, and I write often about family, balance, and such… but I drop the ball sometimes right at a clutch moment.
The last few days I could tell we were “off” so I asked Leanne, “Are you okay?” And as a self-reliant and gracious wife she said, “Yeah. Are you okay?” with an undertone of sarcasm.
Now, after 8 years of marriage I know better, but I took her answer at face value and went on about our lives. This scenario repeated itself once or twice more before this weekend.
(You know where this is going, don’t you?)
Saturday morning the Procter house mojo was out of whack so I stopped Leanne and asked:
Are you happy?
Then the truth came out.
Leanne: My throat hurts and I feel like you don’t do chores anymore.
Normally, I do the dishes, help fold laundry, clean the toilets, and sweep like a champ.
Unfortunately, the truth is I’ve done absolutely zilch in terms of regular chores since summer started.
Well, I sprang into motion, tornado-cleaned all 3 bathrooms and swept the house, but something was still amiss.
More on that later this week.